Have I hit rock bottom?

I’m officially EXCITED to do research for a paper I’m writing, on the grammar of the subjunctive mood in English. Gulp.

I can see it now . . . . I start off as a relatively normal girl, surrounded by friends. Together we enjoy watching shows like The Mindy Project and making fun of pretentious academics. Then I glance at a blog here or there, start getting interested in writing and language. Think maybe I’ll postpone the real world for a year by teaching English. Realizing I need to actually learn details of English, I sign up for a grammar class. Earn a few university credits, stop by the library to do some research.

My show preferences begin to change….less New Girl and Grey’s Anatomy, more 60 Minutes and PBS. I stay in on a Friday night, opting to do some light reading “for a class.” Find myself absorbed in the nuances of verbs. I don’t mind the extra pounds the library book adds to my backpack–they just feel right.

College passes. I buy a cat, or two or three. I obsessively seek out immigrants just so I can hear their take on learning English. A tall and attractive man asks me out (despite the spinster I’ve become), but I turn him down because his response to my greeting is “I’m good” instead of “I’m well.” At least I have the cats.

And suddenly I’m the universally hated grammarian, trying to teach all the rowdy students the correct placement of commas. I find solace only in my worn copies of British novels, a steaming mug of chamomile, and my gently purring felines.

Credit.

About The Author

Jenny

Jenny Marshall studied Language, Culture, and Society at the University of California Santa Barbara, and now teaches English in Spain. Here she writes about the intersection of language and culture, and lives a life translated by travel.